


Snaking Changes

by HeatherGiesbrecht



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Break Up, Camping, Canon Het Relationship, Complete, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Implied/Referenced Blowjobs, Interspecies Relationship, M/M, Non-Canon Relationship, One Shot, Past Relationship(s), Post-Thor: The Dark World, Pre-Thor: Ragnarok, Slash, Snakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 02:56:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12644721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeatherGiesbrecht/pseuds/HeatherGiesbrecht
Summary: The real reason Jane broke up with Thor.





	Snaking Changes

Thor awakened to a snake curled up on his chest in the tent Jane had rented for the weekend. Slowly, he ran a finger down the rough black scales and smiled wistfully. "You're not my brother reborn from Valhalla come to stab me again, are you ? You know, you remind me of him. So slim, at a distance so smooth, yet up close I could sense his discontent. He had a near constantly wagging tongue, too, when he would talk to anyone. Sometimes he wouldn't talk to me for days after we fought, but the make up blow jobs were always good and mutual, of course. He was damn good at them, better than Jane. If you actually are Loki reborn, don't tell Jane I said that." The snake blinked uncomprehending, golden eyes. "You wouldn't have liked laying on him. His skin always felt a bit chilled, especially when everything else was hotter than lightning. You'd think I would have noticed that, but I didn't until Father told me the truth. It should've been so obvious to me that he was a Frost Giant, how he never got flushed from the cold and only the highest of heats would bother him. When we were boys, when even I would be running inside for the cold and a bit of heated mead he would still be making snow-kings like it was nothing. Of course, there was that one time a throwing knife somehow wound up in a snowball and almost struck me in the cock. It ended up in my thigh instead. We'd had a really big fight the day before, though, so it was sort of understandable."

"Thor, why is there a snake on your chest and why are you stroking it ?"

"I love snakes, I thought you knew that by now, Jane. My skin is much thicker than yours, which means my body is warmer than yours as well, so they like laying on me at night. There was one here last night, too."

Jane sat up and glared at him. "While you're in the mood: Why didn't you ever visit Loki ? What ? Were you afraid he'd give you such a good blow job that you'd just have to break him out afterward ? Tell me."

"No. I was afraid, but I was afraid that I'd be staring into that cell forever wondering how we'd strayed so far from our shared path. When we were boys, I thought we would fight side-by-side until the end of our days and walk through the gates of Valhalla together. Except, everything changed. Loki found out about Father's lie, went mad, got brain-washed, murdered 80 civilians and tried to conquer Midgard for some unknown force. The Loki I grew up with never would have asked if we mourned for him because he would have known we did nor would he ever have murdered innocents. The Loki I'd loved was gone and seemed like he was never coming back, until he impaled that Kursed Dark Elf to save me. I thought our paths had finally merged again, then the Dark Elf separated us until the day I die."

"Well, if you're so anxious to reunite with Loki why don't you go die saving someone from a fire ? I'm sick of you always being away and how all you ever talk about when you are home is your mother and Loki and Asgard. I'm sorry they're dead, I'm sorry your homesick, but I just can't take it anymore. I'm breaking up with you, Thor. Now get out of my tent and take your creepy snake with you ! I hope it gets run over by a car and goes to Hel."

Flabbergasted, he crawled out of the tent. A few minutes of shocked wandering later, he remembered to summon Mjolnir then stared at the hammer. "You are the only thing of home I have left on this Realm. You're the only thing that understands me. I love you, hammer, and I know that you love me, too. We'll always be together and, unlike Loki did, you will never literally stab me in the back."

Maybe he needed to go somewhere that Loki and Jane had never been ? Loki would never have gone to Australia for fear of getting roasted by the dragon. Jane never would've gone to Australia because while she liked the fish in the ocean, she generally disliked crossing the ocean. "I am sorry, friend snake, but it's too dangerous for you to come with me." He let the snake slither down his arm and Mjolnir. It was time to change.


End file.
